I went yesterday to re-take my math part of the Compass test. In order to get into Davenport University you have to pass a Compass test if your ACT scores are too low. Well my ACT score was 1 point lower from what it would have taken me to get accepted. You get two attempts to pass the Compass test.
The first time, I passed the reading and writing with flying colors. Piece of cake for me. The math part, not so good. I got a 28 and I needed to get a 30. I was a little discouraged but I decided that I should take it again. Now I should remind you that I have never ever taken Algebra in my life....in high school I was stuck in the General or Business math classes. Nothing to do with Algebra. So Tom and I looked over some of the questions on the worksheet and he did what he could to help explain things to me. I've never really been the quick learner....and to be honest....I didn't really know what the heck he was saying to me....but I tried.
The second time, I went back to take the Math part. I was nervous....I didn't know anything about it. The outcome was not so good. I got the same exact score as last time, 28. I was disappointed, saddened, and felt like a failure. The lady was kind of a snot about it when she handed me the results. "Yeah, you really need to know the basics of Algebra in order to get in here. You will have to go to GRCC and take a math class to get accepted here."
Now I sit here and think about it and I am hurt, I am sad. I was so excited about going to school, I thought I was making the right decision. But now....I am not so sure. I am thinking obviously I am thinking negatively....but regardless.....I need to spend a whole semester taking a stupid Algebra class....and to myself I am thinking....when in my career am I going to use it....I haven't used it in the 6 years I have been at Borisch....
I don't know what to do......I have all these thoughts going on in my head and the one that keeps coming back was....when I was a senior in high school and they told me that I wasn't good enough for college ,that I would never make it, or to not even bother trying...and I for some crazy listened to them. I let that affect me....then I give it a try and this is what happens....
So bloggers.....I write this because.....I am discouraged.....and well I just needed to vent....what's next....what do I do? All I can do right now is pray for guidance to figure out it out.....
6 comments:
My dear, dear Sara,
Don't ever allow anyone to ever tell you that you are not smart enough or good enough for anything. It is so wrong of them to say that because it is NOT true. I think that you could go to another school and they would accept you, no matter what.
You are NOT a failure.
I believe in you and I know you can do it. Don't give up.
I love you so much.
Mom
Sara you ARE smart and you are amazing to go back and take it a second time - Do not think of it as failing, but think of it as an opportunity to learn more!! GRCC is not bad yah know - I went there to take the basics (and I am not a smart person either - especially in math. My advice is: if you want it bad enough you take the next step and keep going towards your goal and don't stop until you get there!! You are awesome and I give you kudos for taking new steps in your life - DO NOT LET THE SMALL STUFF GET YOU DISCOURAGED!!!!!!!
Go for it, Sara! Don't give up. You can't blame yourself for not knowing algebra when you have never taken it. You know....you have an Unlce Bill that is a math teacher. Take a few lessons from him and I am sure that you can get it!
Yes - your Uncle Bill helped me a lot with my (lack of) math skills. I often spoke with him before school and during class to ask him questions. He was always patient (even if he was super frustrated with how slowly I learned math ;).
Also, the thoughts that you are no good and a failure...those are lies from the devil. He wants you to be discouraged because he knows that if you believe him, he wins. You are an amazing person, Sara...and like Lia said, look at this as an opportunity to learn. You CAN do it and you WILL if you want it badly enough. I believe in you!!! :) Take one day at a time...
Love you much!
Uncle Bill is only a phone call away - he'd LOVE to help you! It's very typical that students who are strong in reading and writing, as you are, have more difficulty with math. And vice versa - those strong in math often struggle in the areas you are strong in. Hang in there - and make that phone call :)
Sending love!
You have made us so proud in your job and everything you've learned at Borisch. You are a fast learner and I'm sure, with some guidance from Uncle Bill perhaps, you could do it. Like Lia said, GRCC isn't so bad. Maybe that's the door God is opening for you right now.
You know what dad always says "discouragement is Satan's biggest tool". Don't let him get you down. You are smart and add your self proclaimed "sassyness" you can do anything you set your mind to. God will help you. Seek His guidance. Love you, Mom D
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